For anyone who is having a 2nd child (or has one) let me be the first to say: “congratulations! You are officially screwed!” You may think I’m crazy, but trust me, I’m saying this for your own good. As the mother of 2 beautiful lil boys that give me gray hairs on a daily basis I’m here to tell having 2 kids is not as easy as you think. I know you've probably heard from a lot of people that there’s not a big difference, but guess what? Those people are all big, fat liars. From pregnancy until they’re ready for school, here’s the real deal on what you've been told:
1. Being pregnant is harder the second time around. If you thought morning sickness was bad the first time, try barfing your brains out with a toddler hanging off your leg. Oh, and forget about afternoon naps, or naps of any kind because the more tired you are the more your lil one will want to play/read/ climb a mountain, etc. You’re a mom now, which means no rest until your kids move out (and with today’s economy that might never happen).
2. Childbirth is harder too: When I was expecting my 2nd child all I heard was how much quicker and easier labor would be- so imagine my shock (and utter terror) when I started having contractions that felt like a baby Elephant was trying to kick its way out of my uterus?
By the time we got to the hospital I was screaming for drugs of any kind (I would have taken a horse tranquilizer at that point). Turns out that while the actual part where you push IS quicker, in most cases the pain is the same or worse with baby number 2.
3. Caring for your new baby will leave you exhausted: Remember how tired you were getting up every 3 hours? Times that by a million and you’ll have a vague idea of how exhausting 2 kids are. This time around there’s no sleeping in or stealing naps (see #1) because you already have a child. A child, who if left unsupervised will either draw on the walls, put the new baby in the washing machine, or both. Yep, now you have to do bottles, wash clothes and clean the house while raising 2 kids.
4. No one will babysit for you- ever. Think I’m exaggerating? Think about how many people currently babysit for you (odds are you have 1, maybe 2 people you can rely on) and now stop thinking about them because they are NOT going to babysit for you anymore. People panic at the thought of watching 2 kids (2 kids equals twice the work). So invest in a Netflix account because you won’t be going anywhere for the next 15 years.
5. You will Never have Sex again: okay, okay I’m exaggerating- a little. As much as you might want to it’s harder to have sex when you have to hide from 2 kids (think quickie in the bathroom while both are napping). Plus, the whole exhaustion thing will have you fast asleep before you pull off your socks, let alone anything else. On the bright side less sex means there’s less of a chance of getting pregnant again.
6. It may take a while for your kids to be friends. Yes, your kids will love each other, but it might take some time for them to like each other. Siblings fight (even when they DO like each other), so don’t be surprised if your older child ignores the newest addition (or tries to return him). Your children are going to get to know each other often times by hurting each other and giving you gray hairs. The key to survival? Invest in a lot of hair dye).
7. Hubby is not going to be any more helpful than he was with the 1st baby. 2 kids means you will never find your husband/boyfriend/partner when you need to. They will either be in the garage or the bathroom for hours, all in an attempt to avoid having to change a diaper. Think of them like your non-existent babysitter, or a 3rd child and suck it up.
8. Finally, as much as it pains me to say this I must warn you: losing that baby weight is going to be almost impossible. I saved this for last because it’s something no woman wants to hear. However, it’s a truth you have to face because all your energy (every last drop) is going to be sucked up by your kids so forget about eating right or going to the gym. Besides, you have no babysitter and your husband is missing so you couldn't join the gym even if you wanted to. So go have a nice slice of cake and relax- while you still can.
1. Being pregnant is harder the second time around. If you thought morning sickness was bad the first time, try barfing your brains out with a toddler hanging off your leg. Oh, and forget about afternoon naps, or naps of any kind because the more tired you are the more your lil one will want to play/read/ climb a mountain, etc. You’re a mom now, which means no rest until your kids move out (and with today’s economy that might never happen).
2. Childbirth is harder too: When I was expecting my 2nd child all I heard was how much quicker and easier labor would be- so imagine my shock (and utter terror) when I started having contractions that felt like a baby Elephant was trying to kick its way out of my uterus?
By the time we got to the hospital I was screaming for drugs of any kind (I would have taken a horse tranquilizer at that point). Turns out that while the actual part where you push IS quicker, in most cases the pain is the same or worse with baby number 2.
3. Caring for your new baby will leave you exhausted: Remember how tired you were getting up every 3 hours? Times that by a million and you’ll have a vague idea of how exhausting 2 kids are. This time around there’s no sleeping in or stealing naps (see #1) because you already have a child. A child, who if left unsupervised will either draw on the walls, put the new baby in the washing machine, or both. Yep, now you have to do bottles, wash clothes and clean the house while raising 2 kids.
4. No one will babysit for you- ever. Think I’m exaggerating? Think about how many people currently babysit for you (odds are you have 1, maybe 2 people you can rely on) and now stop thinking about them because they are NOT going to babysit for you anymore. People panic at the thought of watching 2 kids (2 kids equals twice the work). So invest in a Netflix account because you won’t be going anywhere for the next 15 years.
5. You will Never have Sex again: okay, okay I’m exaggerating- a little. As much as you might want to it’s harder to have sex when you have to hide from 2 kids (think quickie in the bathroom while both are napping). Plus, the whole exhaustion thing will have you fast asleep before you pull off your socks, let alone anything else. On the bright side less sex means there’s less of a chance of getting pregnant again.
6. It may take a while for your kids to be friends. Yes, your kids will love each other, but it might take some time for them to like each other. Siblings fight (even when they DO like each other), so don’t be surprised if your older child ignores the newest addition (or tries to return him). Your children are going to get to know each other often times by hurting each other and giving you gray hairs. The key to survival? Invest in a lot of hair dye).
7. Hubby is not going to be any more helpful than he was with the 1st baby. 2 kids means you will never find your husband/boyfriend/partner when you need to. They will either be in the garage or the bathroom for hours, all in an attempt to avoid having to change a diaper. Think of them like your non-existent babysitter, or a 3rd child and suck it up.
8. Finally, as much as it pains me to say this I must warn you: losing that baby weight is going to be almost impossible. I saved this for last because it’s something no woman wants to hear. However, it’s a truth you have to face because all your energy (every last drop) is going to be sucked up by your kids so forget about eating right or going to the gym. Besides, you have no babysitter and your husband is missing so you couldn't join the gym even if you wanted to. So go have a nice slice of cake and relax- while you still can.