Having a baby is an amazing experience, but it is also one of the scariest of your life- you are now responsible for another human being and just the mere thought of that can be overwhelming for a new mom.
On top of that, if you're like most new moms you not only want to do everything right, but you want to do it perfectly as well (hahaha. it's cute you think that's possible).
You've probably read countless books and gotten advice from lots of people, but here's some advice I can guarantee nobody told you: most of the stuff you've been told is wrong.
I've come to realize that a lot of the advice I got when I was pregnant was either not practical or just downright impossible and can make your fears and unreal expectations even worse.
To help you out I'm going to shed light on which baby tips are true, which aren't and which ones are just plain laughable- keep in mind this is NOT advice, this is me, educating you on what works and what doesn't. Here goes:
1. Sleep When The Baby Sleeps: This advice must have originated from someone who has NEVER had kids. In theory this makes perfect sense, but when you have a baby there are no theories- just endless hours of no sleep. The problem with this advice is that you are expected to fall asleep at the drop of a hat- if the baby is sleeping so are you and that is not realistic. My oldest son, Aiden, was a terrible sleeper, so I tried this and failed miserably. By the time I relaxed and started to drift off he would get up. Plus, there were times when there was simply too much to do- unless you have a cleaning fairy eventually you have to do the dishes/laundry etc. The next person who says this should be put on an island with hundreds of babies that don't sleep.
2. Sleep Training Solves Everything: While we're on the subject of sleep, let me also mention that I'm sure sleep training does solve everything- if you are a neurosurgeon or some other genius who can conquer this complicated dance. Seriously, sleep training is hard for a lot of reasons, so if you have tried and it didn't work know you're not alone. Can you do it? Yes- provided your child co-operates and you are a miracle worker. When you sleep train you teach your child to fall asleep on their own, laying them down while they are awake but sleepy, offering comfort without picking them (piece of cake!). FYI: babies WANT to be held ( Heck, we're adults and we want to be held sometimes), which is probably why this does NOT work! Besides, babies are just like us, they sleep when they are tired and will get cranky if they're overtired. Which reminds me: put your child to sleep when they are tired!! I have experienced first hand how difficult it can be to get a baby to sleep when they are overtired. You may be tempted to keep them up longer thinking they will sleep more- trust me they won't and you will be pulling your hair out trying to get them down.
3. You're a Terrible Mom if You Don't Breastfeed (and your child won't be smart): Whoever gives this advice is just plain mean. There are enough expectations that come along with motherhood- making a new mom feel that she is a failure if she doesn't breastfeed is just plain cruel and wrong. Yes, breast milk is healthier for babies and it is a nice bonding experience but there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with formula. Breast feeding can be hard to do, is not always an option and some moms DON'T want to do it. I myself was blessed/cursed with big boobs that produced no milk when I gave birth- it happens. I refuse to feel bad, after all I was raised on formula and look at me now- I got my own blog! So relax, you and the baby will be fine and if anyone says different stop talking to them! lol
4. Dad Can Help: This is something every new mom needs to understand and take advantage of. A lot of moms want to do everything themselves- don't! Let the dad (if he's in the picture) share the responsibilities. Dad is just as important as you (well, almost) so let him change the baby, feed the baby or just play with the baby while you take care of you. He may not do it the way YOU do, but he can do it! It gives them time to bond and takes some of the pressure off you. Believe me, when I first heard this I was like no way, he's going to mess up and my baby is going to end up in the dryer. I finally gave in and while he did use Clorox wipes instead of baby wipes one time, luckily our child was 2 when it happened, and as my husband pointed out- hey, he was nice and clean.
5. Relax and Enjoy It: This is by far the best, but also the hardest piece of advice to follow. You only get these magical first few years once- so stop focusing on how to do things and just enjoy what you are doing. It takes years of screw-ups for a child to grow up and need therapy, so odds are your baby will be okay. All joking aside though, babies are not that fragile and they have no clue if you are doing it right. They only know if you love them or not, so snuggle up and forget about everything else. Besides, you can always blame dad ;)
On top of that, if you're like most new moms you not only want to do everything right, but you want to do it perfectly as well (hahaha. it's cute you think that's possible).
You've probably read countless books and gotten advice from lots of people, but here's some advice I can guarantee nobody told you: most of the stuff you've been told is wrong.
I've come to realize that a lot of the advice I got when I was pregnant was either not practical or just downright impossible and can make your fears and unreal expectations even worse.
To help you out I'm going to shed light on which baby tips are true, which aren't and which ones are just plain laughable- keep in mind this is NOT advice, this is me, educating you on what works and what doesn't. Here goes:
1. Sleep When The Baby Sleeps: This advice must have originated from someone who has NEVER had kids. In theory this makes perfect sense, but when you have a baby there are no theories- just endless hours of no sleep. The problem with this advice is that you are expected to fall asleep at the drop of a hat- if the baby is sleeping so are you and that is not realistic. My oldest son, Aiden, was a terrible sleeper, so I tried this and failed miserably. By the time I relaxed and started to drift off he would get up. Plus, there were times when there was simply too much to do- unless you have a cleaning fairy eventually you have to do the dishes/laundry etc. The next person who says this should be put on an island with hundreds of babies that don't sleep.
2. Sleep Training Solves Everything: While we're on the subject of sleep, let me also mention that I'm sure sleep training does solve everything- if you are a neurosurgeon or some other genius who can conquer this complicated dance. Seriously, sleep training is hard for a lot of reasons, so if you have tried and it didn't work know you're not alone. Can you do it? Yes- provided your child co-operates and you are a miracle worker. When you sleep train you teach your child to fall asleep on their own, laying them down while they are awake but sleepy, offering comfort without picking them (piece of cake!). FYI: babies WANT to be held ( Heck, we're adults and we want to be held sometimes), which is probably why this does NOT work! Besides, babies are just like us, they sleep when they are tired and will get cranky if they're overtired. Which reminds me: put your child to sleep when they are tired!! I have experienced first hand how difficult it can be to get a baby to sleep when they are overtired. You may be tempted to keep them up longer thinking they will sleep more- trust me they won't and you will be pulling your hair out trying to get them down.
3. You're a Terrible Mom if You Don't Breastfeed (and your child won't be smart): Whoever gives this advice is just plain mean. There are enough expectations that come along with motherhood- making a new mom feel that she is a failure if she doesn't breastfeed is just plain cruel and wrong. Yes, breast milk is healthier for babies and it is a nice bonding experience but there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with formula. Breast feeding can be hard to do, is not always an option and some moms DON'T want to do it. I myself was blessed/cursed with big boobs that produced no milk when I gave birth- it happens. I refuse to feel bad, after all I was raised on formula and look at me now- I got my own blog! So relax, you and the baby will be fine and if anyone says different stop talking to them! lol
4. Dad Can Help: This is something every new mom needs to understand and take advantage of. A lot of moms want to do everything themselves- don't! Let the dad (if he's in the picture) share the responsibilities. Dad is just as important as you (well, almost) so let him change the baby, feed the baby or just play with the baby while you take care of you. He may not do it the way YOU do, but he can do it! It gives them time to bond and takes some of the pressure off you. Believe me, when I first heard this I was like no way, he's going to mess up and my baby is going to end up in the dryer. I finally gave in and while he did use Clorox wipes instead of baby wipes one time, luckily our child was 2 when it happened, and as my husband pointed out- hey, he was nice and clean.
5. Relax and Enjoy It: This is by far the best, but also the hardest piece of advice to follow. You only get these magical first few years once- so stop focusing on how to do things and just enjoy what you are doing. It takes years of screw-ups for a child to grow up and need therapy, so odds are your baby will be okay. All joking aside though, babies are not that fragile and they have no clue if you are doing it right. They only know if you love them or not, so snuggle up and forget about everything else. Besides, you can always blame dad ;)